Fruit Tart
by Odyssion
Summary: [GokuxGojyo, limey, slight OOCness] Gojyo’s always said his two weaknesses were tobacco and tart. He’s got the best of tobacco… but he’s going to have some competition if he wants the best tart for himself.


**Fruit Tart**

_Summary:_ GokuxGojyo, limey, slight OOC-ness Gojyo's always said his two weaknesses were tobacco and tart. He's got the best of tobacco… but he's going to get some competition if he wants the best tart for himself.

_Disclaimer:_ This is a purely non-profit story written for entertainment purposes only. The characters of are the property of their respective owners.

_Author's Notes:_ Don't blame me for this one. It's definitely not as good as it could be, but at least give me credit for trying. It's hard to write when you're not particularly inspired, so this may seem a little forced and out of character. I realized I wasn't giving much time to my writing, so I decided I had to write something, just to get going again. Granted, this idea has been in my head since Gojyo's infamous (in my mind) line in the manga, where he states his two weaknesses. This isn't a pairing I like at all (which presents the question of why I wrote this), but it worked with all the info my brain was given. So, nothing serious… just a little light frisky fun (that will definitely be edited later on).

Hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Fruit Tart**

The stifling hot sun beat down on his half-exposed skin, causing droplets of perspiration to form and drip lazily down his body. They hadn't seen heat like this for a while, and Gojyo found his body was strangely unaccustomed. He closed his eyes as Jeep rolled smoothly (for the most part) through the sand, blocking out the glare of the sun. He supposed there was one positive aspect about the heat; it seemed to have worn down even Goku, who tried to hunch as much as he could to utilise what little shade he could find within the confined space. As a warm desert breeze tousled his hair on its way by, he felt the strangest sense of calm. Slightly surprised (or perhaps perturbed) by the sensation, he opened his eyes to regard his companions; Goku curled up in deep sleep, Hakkai humming softly with a smile on his lips, and 'worldly Priest Sanzo', violet eyes as bright and distant as a star. The desert stretched infinitely before them, engulfing them in an abyss of light and colour that seemed to never end, while the sun made its daily descent to meet the horizon.

_Though I did get close to this gorgeous blond who was a real bitch… and this other tart who's a bit lacking in the brains department. And that's not counting the tragic and emotionally screwed beauty._

_'This',_ he thought, _'is happiness?'_

With another glance at his surroundings, he shook his head and decided emphatically that he'd rather be in hell.

* * *

_'Damn, no hot chicks in this town.'_

They'd settled at a small village at the base of some mountains, and it was his turn to do the grocery shopping again. While pillaging through the mounds of non-perishable food items available, his eyes sought out and followed every feminine form that happened to walk by. So far, he was gravely disappointed. The damp mountain air had done wonders to revitalize his spirits… perhaps too much so. He was feeling friskier than ever, and there wasn't a woman in sight he'd even consider doing. It wasn't that he was a guy with impossibly high standards, but apparently too much humidity is bad for the skin (at least for these people). Sighing, he inhaled deeply the crispness of the air, head bowed and shoulders slumped as he headed back to their inn for the night. As he did so, he noticed from the corner of his eye a small bakery, squished and hidden by the two larger stores beside it. As he approached, the aromas and fragrances hit him like a wave, and seduced him completely. He emerged 10 minutes later, arms still laden with packages but with a special and delicate one at the very top. Grinning from ear to ear, he never even noticed any girls on his way back.

* * *

"Gojyooooo, why didja take so long! Hakkai wouldn't lemme eat until you got back, and I'm starving!"

"Can it, monkey brain. If you didn't eat so much, we wouldn't need to restock all the time."

"I can't help it, I'm still growing!"

"Dream on, shorty."

"Shut up, you perverted kappa!"

Rolling his eyes with annoyance (since the damn kid wasn't too far off the mark this time), he hoisted his own package off the top and threw the rest of the bags at Goku, who was too distracted to give him any more grief.

"Here, you take this stuff. Go 'head and eat, too. I'm goin' upstairs."

He gave a quick salute to Hakkai, and, taking the brief opportunity to escape, he climbed the steep stairs of the inn and retreated to his room. He opened the door of the musty chamber, putting his package down on the rickety table and walking across the creaking floorboards to sit gently on the narrow bed. This particular lodging of theirs was incredibly old and dusty, but it was the only one in town. Gojyo didn't mind too much; at least it had warm water, and because it was so cheap they could afford to all get their own rooms. He'd been so ecstatic, but it just made the disappointment of not picking anyone up even more bitter.

He opened the window and looked out at the stars, lighting up a cigarette in the process. Sighing, he walked back to the table and carefully took a tiny box out of the brown paper bag. Smiling in contentment, he opened the box to reveal a perfect fruit tart. The pieces of fruit were large and juicy, sitting happily on a custard filling that loaded the crispy base. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen something so beautiful.

As if his radar had picked up the uncovering of another piece of food, none other than Goku decided to burst into his room.

"Gojyooo, Hakkai told me to—"

The young youkai stopped dead in his tracks, eyes riveted on the tart in front of Gojyo.

"Where'd you get that?" Goku asked incredulously, practically drooling.

"What're you doin' burstin' in here without knockin'? And it ain't any of your business."

"I want some."

Gojyo could've guessed that was coming, and quickly grabbed the treat while moving away.

"Aww, c'mon Gojyo! Don't be a hog. I'd share my food with you!"

"Pfft! Yeah, right. You just go back downstairs and eat whatever's there."

Goku merely pouted, and tried to advance on Gojyo. "I ate it all already. I'm still hungry."

"Go get your own food!" By now Gojyo had run out of room to back away, and was desperately searching for an escape route. Goku, seeing that he had the upper hand, decided to press his advantage. Closing in, he lunged at Gojyo without warning. But the kappa was quick enough to dodge.

"Jesus, you almost gave me a frickin' heart attack!"

"That's just because you're old," replied Goku carelessly, never taking his eyes off the tart.

"Wouldja stop starin' at it already? You're gonna burn holes in the thing."

"Better than lettin' you eat it!"

Again he lunged for the hand holding the tart, but Gojyo was tactful enough to slide it safely away before Goku could reach. They did this dance over and over, Gojyo feeling ever more irritated, Goku ever more determined. Then, as if by fate, Goku's hand accidentally brushed across Gojyo's crotch as he lunged. It was the lightest of touches, but in his… agitated state, it was enough to stir him. All of a sudden the tart wasn't important at all; the most important thing was that Goku didn't **see.**

Pretending to be bored of the chase, Gojyo quickly threw the tart at Goku, who dived to save it with the greatest glee. But, since it chanced to be a day of unusual events and rarities, this couldn't save Gojyo. Instead of eating the tart as he'd hoped, Goku actually _put it down_ on the table and regarded Gojyo curiously (Gojyo had run to the safety of his bed covers by now).

"Why'd you just give it to me?" he asked.

"I was gettin' sick of your bellyachin', that's why. Now just take the damn thing away and eat it, would ya?" He really hoped Goku would leave the room… and soon. Try as he might, he couldn't un-arouse himself. The only two options left would be to jerk off or pour cold water down his pants, but either way, the kid needed to be out of the room.

"Gojyo, you're sittin' sorta funny. You ok?" And out of sheer childish naïveté, Goku bounded over to sit beside him.

_'If there is a God, this isn't fucking funny,'_ Gojyo thought hopelessly. _'What the hell do I do!'_ The only thing he could hope to rely on was Goku's mental sluggishness.

"I'm fine! Now would you just leave already!"

"Jeez, you don't have to get huffy about it!" And he shifted slightly on the bed, which caused the tiny corner of the blanket that had been keeping Gojyo's secret to slip. Before he could grab it to save himself, Goku had taken a glance and seen the truth.

For a while, neither of them moved nor spoke. Goku's eyes were wide and questioning, surprise written all over his face. Gojyo had grabbed the blanket and recovered himself, for all the good it did. Minutes went by. Finally, Goku decided to break the silence.

"Gojyo, are you—?"

"It's gettin' real late, kid, and I'm tired of ya. Get out."

Without saying a word, Goku got off the bed and headed towards the door, much to Gojyo's relief. However, he didn't exit as he'd hoped. Instead, he merely closed it and fastened the lock before turning back around to face Gojyo.

"I'm not a kid, and I'm not doing what you tell me to."

In a flash he was beside Gojyo again, hand reaching for his crotch. Aghast, Gojyo flinched back.

"What the hell do you think you're doin'!"

Screwing up his face, his hand darted out to grab Gojyo's, and brought it to his own hardness.

"You started this; you're going to finish it."

"What! **I** started it! I'm not the one who burst in here, grabbing crotches while trying to steal food. This is insane! I don't want to screw you."

"But Gojyo, it makes sense! I dunno about you, but I'm not a fan of jerking off, not when there's someone else to do it for me."

The red-haired man was completely taken aback by what he was hearing. "When the hell did you start havin' sex!"

"Does it really matter? Can we just get on with this, my pants are killing me…"

* * *

Shuddering in release for the 5th time, Gojyo grabbed Goku and pulled him down for a rough kiss. 

"Still feelin' frisky?" he asked the brown-haired boy who was slipping off him. Goku plopped down beside him with a wicked grin.

"You bet."

"What am I bettin' on?" Gojyo asked sleepily, his desire sated.

"That I can do it more times than you in a night."

"You wish, kid! Ugh, damn… I feel like a pedophile."

"Shut uuup. So, we got a deal?"

"What am I bettin'?"

"Hmm… how about the fruit tart?"

"You're on."

"I thought you wanted to be on top."

"Baka."

So it happened that Gojyo did get laid… but in the most unexpected way. As the night progressed, he wondered why he'd never thought of hooking up with a guy before. Goku was good… too good, in fact. Between all his other slurred thoughts, he had the time to briefly wonder just where he'd learned his… skills. Maybe their resident priest was kinkier than they all knew.

He awoke in the morning to an incredibly sore ass and the feeling of being incredibly drained. For a moment, he thought he had imagined the whole ordeal, but the warm body beside him proved the fact more than enough. Not wanting to think about what had happened, he got up and tried to collect the better part of his clothes. Goku turned over and rested his head on his hand, heavy-lidded eyes half open and watching Gojyo.

"I think I won," the teenage youkai stated with a big yawn.

"Yeah, right. You dropped off first."

"Did not!" was the indignant reply.

"Doesn't matter anyways, so long as I eat the thing first."

At this statement Goku bolted up, standing in all his naked glory. Suddenly shy, he grabbed the blanket to cover himself. Gojyo turned to the table and reached for the tart, only to find it missing.

"Where'd it go? You ate it, didn't you?" and he cast an accusing glare at Goku.

"Did not! You probably ate it and you're just pretending to be surprised!"

"Why the hell would I do that!"

"Because you're just that perverted!"

"UGH!"

Realizing he'd get nowhere, he grabbed Goku's clothes and tossed them at him.

"Get dressed. And not a word about this to Sanzo or Hakkai, got it?"

As soon as they were both ready, they opened the door a crack and peered outside. Seeing that the coast was clear, they headed down to the dining room together.

* * *

Surprised as he was to find himself enjoying sex with a man, Gojyo was even more surprised to see Sanzo in the dining room, reading a newspaper and finishing off the remaining half of a fruit tart. He cast a nervous glance at Goku, who returned the look.

"Stop standing there looking stupid and sit down, both of you." Sanzo made his orders without ever looking up.

Silently, the two obeyed.

"Sanzo, we—"

"Shut up while you're still ahead. I don't give a damn."

"You ate our fruit tart!"

"You're both just a couple of fruit tarts. But I'm sure you've had enough of eating each other, no?"

**THE END**

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_A.N :_ Ahahahaha, that was evil. And funny! (At least to me) Actually, you know what made me write this? The fact that I have posters of Gojyo and Goku on my bedroom wall… right beside each other… looking at me. Cheers to yaoi and pretty boys!


End file.
